The Magic of Third Level Listening
Many
years ago I was attending a coaching school to become a life coach. Among the
many new and exciting things I was learning there was one technique that I found
to be most amazingly powerful. It
was a unique method for receiving the information that another person (a coaching
client) was sharing with me as they talked. Although this technique was originally
created to be used in life coaching, I soon found it to be valuable in all of
my communications with other people. The
technique, which was called Third Level Listening, is simple and yet very profound.
Briefly, the person listening (the life coach) is taking in the information from
the other person (the client) on three levels: 1.
First Level Listening is hearing and understanding the words that the other
person is saying. 2.
Second Level Listening includes hearing and understanding the words that
the other person is saying PLUS paying attention to their body language and verbal
tones and what they mean. 3.
Third Level Listening includes First and Second Level Listening PLUS being
aware of any spontaneous thoughts or insights, inner visions, and awarenesses
that occur to you as you are hearing what the other person is saying.
My
first experience with this type of listening was during one of the classes at
the coaching school. We
were told to find a partner with which to practice this technique. A woman sitting
next to me leaned over and said "Want to be my partner?" and I said
yes. We
turned our chairs so we were facing each other and as we sat down she asked to
be the "client" and I would be the "coach". I agreed and she
began talking about how she wanted to start her own coaching business but was
doubtful that she could overcome all the obstacles she began listing. As
she continued sharing her information, I focused first on hearing her words (First
Level Listening) and then after a few minutes I began to pay attention to her
body language (Second Level Listening). Graduating
to Third Level Listening was a bit difficult for me, but soon I noticed that I
wasn't just hearing my own thoughts, but I was also sensing new and original thoughts
coming to me, as well as some inner visions. After
a short bit she became quiet and at that point I broke my silence. "I'm
experiencing what I think is Third Level Listening. May I share it with you?"
I asked her. "Yes.
By all means. This should be interesting," she said moving forward on her
chair toward me. "Well,
what I'm getting is a vision of a hat - a woman's hat. It's quite large, wide
brimmed, and bright red. I'm getting the sense that it has special meaning for
you," I said hesitantly. She
sat still for a few moments and then tears began flooding her eyes and sliding
down her cheeks. "What you're describing is my mother's hat. She wore it
every time she went anywhere and it became her trademark. We were very close.
She died recently and I've been missing her tremendously. The vision you have
of her hat is her telling me that she's still with me," she finished as she
wiped her tears from her face. I
sat still and quiet, astounded at her response. Then my Life Coach Mind woke up.
"How does that relate to what you've been telling me?" I asked her. "My
mother is sending me the message that I have the courage, the knowledge, and the
resources to be successful in helping others with my abilities and knowledge.
She's saying to me, 'You can do it! You're strong and you're smart', just like
she used to say when I was little and afraid." Third
Level Listening. Try it yourself the next time you're having a conversation with
someone. You'll find your communications with others will become more clear and
of greater value to both of you. Love, Kathy Books: An
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